How to Manage a Roommate/Apartment Conflict
Create a time/space to discuss the issue(s) that are occurring
- This could mean meeting in the living room as a group or speaking one on one
- Avoid speaking to other residents about the issue before directly speaking to your roommate or apartment mates
Set ground rules for the conversation
- Speak for yourself with “I” statements: “I feel…” “I don’t like…” This allows you to take responsibility for your feelings when you feel upset or angry
- Allow everyone in the conversation a chance to speak
- Avoid hurtful or blameful language
Be open and honest during the conversation
- What is the issue at hand?
- How can it be resolved? Can there be compromise?
- What steps can be taken to avoid this conflict (and others) in the future?
Review and update your Apartment Agreement form (hard copy is held at the Residence Life Office) as necessary
Review these new ground rules as a group and commit to another time to “check-in”
- Are these new ground rules working to resolve the issue(s)? If not, should there be another meeting?
If you are unable to resolve roommate issues, speak with a Coordinator to discuss your “next steps” as outlined below.
Next Steps
1. Schedule conflict mediation after you have attempted to resolve the issue on your own are or are unable to come to consensus without assistance.
- Contact the Coordinators of Student Development (CSDs) by email to request a mediation meeting. Be sure to include all three CSD emails.
- Provide a few times the group is available. Generally, mediations can occur Monday through Friday between 6:00PM and 9:00PM unless circumstance require otherwise.
2. Attend the scheduled conflict mediation meeting.
- The coordinator is there to assist you with the process above and will make suggestions as necessary, however, mediation is intended for you to have an open and safe space to communicate.
- The coordinator can make a referral for a room change based on the outcomes of the meeting.
3. Follow up as necessary.
- If issues continue, contact the coordinator that assisted you with your first mediation to discuss additional meditation. If problems have been resolved, well, then great! We’re glad we could help.
- If you make a request to change rooms you will need to meet with the Director of Student Services based on the referral from the coordinator who oversaw the mediation. See room change requests below for details regarding room changes.
Room Changes
Room changes occur based on the referral of a coordinator, the Director of Student Services (DSS), and/or the logistical needs of the Center. You may contact a coordinator in person or by email to discuss a room change, in most cases a roommate/apartment mediation meeting will need to occur before a referral will be made. Residential Services will not accept room change requests earlier than two weeks after your orientation date.
Room changes based on requests are final; therefore, it is important that you follow the mediation process outlined above to resolve conflicts. We work hard to create apartments with groups of students that match based on roommate preferences, so it is not guaranteed that a room change would place you in a more ideal situation.
To request a room change, you must:
1. Contact a coordinator and explain your request.
2. Discuss/Complete the mediation process with a coordinator. After which the coordinator will provide a referral for a room change (as necessary) directly to the DSS.
3. Follow the instructions provided by the DSS once a referral has been received.
If a room change is approved the DSS will explain how and when the room change will occur. Please note that very few spaces are available throughout the building and not all room change requests can be granted.